Your heartbeat pounded ferociously in your chest, beating twice for every one time your leg hit the ground. Blood roared in your ears, too loud to hear the crunching of leaves and grass as your feet blazed across them, but not loud enough to block out the sounds of the flesh-eater that now called you its prey. You could hear it behind you; God, it moved fast. Your legs were already tiring, weakened by the jarring impact of it to the ground combined with the never-ending trek that had occupied your night. You could feel your pulse in your head, hammering with every sight.
Tree. Shrub. Look back. Walker.
The wind tore past you, latching onto your tattered clothes like fingers maliciously trying to hold you back, trying to throw you to the ground to be that thing's next meal. The sun glared down through the leaves, thrusting its daggers of light into your eyes until it became almost impossible to see.
Vine. Rock. Tree. Keep running. Not fast enough. Ditch. Bush.
Tears streamed down your eyes, but you weren't crying. The natural obstacles of the forest seemed to want you to die the same way that so many others had. It was like it was saying, "So how are you any different? How are you special? What makes you think you can survive this?" Nature had one hell of a blood-lust. And it had a way of getting what it wanted.
Tree. Rock. Fence. Fence. FENCE.
You almost catapulted into it, your eyes taking in the short wire barricade, but your mind not processing it fast enough. Nothing but sheer instinct propelled you over the fence that so abruptly ended the forest, and that was hardly enough. Sharp barbs that peppered the wire tore through the flesh of your leg, staining it with red. You hit the ground on the other side, your face ending up in the dirt of a field of some kind, not that you had much time to look. Your arms scrambled up beneath you, lifting your body with all the speed it had as the Walker's raucous sounds filled your ears. Shaking with pain and fear, you were hardly able to get to your feet before the Walker was upon you, the living corpse falling ungracefully over the top wire and falling much the same way you did, grasping for you with its dead hands the whole way. You fell backwards as you tried to turn and run, your feet getting tangled under you, and your leg slippery with blood. The Walker didn't so much as hesitate, its body pieces shredding themselves across the barbed wire without a wince as it scrambled to get to you. It's cold hand snagged onto your foot before you could react, the rest of its body pulling itself closer to you.
A scream must have ripped its way through your now-open mouth. You could feel it as it grated against your vocal cords. But you couldn't hear it. It was as if you had suddenly gone deaf, your panic shutting down your audio senses completely. You watched as if from a different person's eyes as the Walker grappled with your struggling body, trying desperately to sink its rotten teeth into your skin. You saw yourself struggling, writhing on the ground to get it off, but the dead-weight proved to be too good at pinning you down. The Walker's sunken eyes were crazed with the opportunity of a meal, its teeth gnashing in a frenzy.
Your hearing returned suddenly with the booming sound of a bullet blasting through its skull.
Your mind was unable to recover quite so rapidly, your eyes watching with fear, panic, and confusion as the corpse collapsed on top of you, no longer so much as twitching. Its hands didn't move forward to clutch you, neither did its mouth jerk to snap at your neck. It was there- but then it was gone, rolled off of you by some unknown arms. A different set of hands dragged you away from it, twisting you around so that you were face-to-face with the stranger.
"Were you bit?!" the stranger yelled, his blue eyes staring dead into yours. You could hardly process the fact that you were still alive, much less the fact that you were being asked a question. It sounded urgent, though. Very much so. You could tell by the look in his eyes.
Your brief loss of reality was thrown to the wolves as he shook you roughly.
"Answer me! Were you bit?!" he demanded, his voice getting louder. You were able to shake your head, his words not really getting through, but your survivalist nature able to answer for you.
The man let one hand of his grip go, rubbing his head as though your answer had given him a severe headache. After a moment, he opened his eyes, which suddenly got wide as he yelled, "SHANE!" You turned your head to follow his gaze just soon enough to see the barrel of a gun pointed between your eyes. You felt yourself getting shoved to the ground. A loud shriek tore from your mouth involuntarily as a bullet embedded itself in the ground right beside you, the sound as well as yet another close encounter with death making you jump in panic. You bit your lip, a million thoughts and emotions meshing themselves together until your mind and heart just went completely blank with fear.
"Rick. Rick, don't you do this. Don't you even think about this; You KNOW the farm's too crowded as it is!" the man who had held the gun, Shane, said, his voice laced with anger.
"I ain't saying that I don't know that as well as you do, and I ain't saying that we'd be keepin' her forever-"
"Then what are you sayin' Rick?" the other man practically roared. "Why don't we just shoot her now, save us the trouble?"
"Because we can't!"
"And why not?" Shane yelled, the two men right in each other's faces, their glares shooting daggers at one another.
Rick paused a moment, clearly biting back the anger that was flaring in his eyes. When he spoke, his voice was lined with an almost calm fury. "All I'm saying, Shane, is that we patch up her leg, and then we send her on her way. That's all."
"That's all? That's all! Rick, you ain't seeing the picture here, are you? If that girl has a group she's travelin' with, and we set her off on her merry way, she'll know where the farm is. And she'll come back, and she won't be lyin' on the ground alone either."
Slowly, realization set in that this conversation wasn't going in your favor. You didn't know these people. You didn't know what they were capable of. And if that man, Shane, was anything to go by, you were in as much trouble now as you were with the Walker. You began to slowly push yourself up, your eyes locked on the men and the group around them. The others all had their eyes in the same place that you did. It was now or never, you supposed.
"You ain't thinking of this farm, Rick. You ain't thinkin' of the safety of all 'a us here. Of Carl, of Lori."
You sidled yourself slowly in the opposite direction of the men, only holding yourself up as far off the ground as you had to be in order to move.
"You're holdin' yourself back from makin' the right decisions, 'cuz you're still stuck in a world that don't exist anymore!"
You crawled lightly, your eyes locked on the group to make sure that their attention was elsewhere. A sense of naive satisfaction slid into your chest. You might actually get away.
"You're a danger to this group, Rick. To me, to Lori, to Carl-"
"Where you think you're goin', Sunshine?" A new voice hissed, making your head shoot up to see an arrow pointed at your skull. Your eyes moved past it to see a man with short, dark brown hair, his intense blue/grey eyes locked on you.
Maybe you weren't making it out alive after all.
The man's gaze snapped up as someone said something that you didn't quite catch, the drum-roll of a pulse pounding in your ears.
"Just shoot her, Daryl. Do us all a favor and just shoot her!"
"That ain't your call to make, Shane!" you heard a woman's voice suddenly yell.
"Just shoot her!"
"Daryl, don't you dare," Rick warned.
"DAMN IT, JUST SHOOT THE BITCH!"
Suddenly, Daryl's hands flipped his crossbow expertly, the handle of the weapon slamming down on your head, knocking you out cold instantly.
"We'll settle this when she ain't staring at me like I'm some kinda demon."
Whale, I actually got off my lazy bum and actually wrote something! YAY! CONFETTI FOR ALL!
I've had this idea tossing around in my head for a while, since I'm too lazy to make a hard-core search for a decent Daryl fanfiction, but too obsessed to not do /something/, ya know? I haven't decided how many chapters I want to chop this plot into, but there will be action chapters, and there will be teary chapters, and
Ch. 1 => nightraven010.deviantart.com/a…
Ch. 2 => nightraven010.deviantart.com/a…
Ch. 3 => nightraven010.deviantart.com/a…
Ch. 4 => nightraven010.deviantart.com/a…
Ch. 5 => nightraven010.deviantart.com/a…
The Walking Dead (c) AMC
Daryl (c) You *cuz we all know that the fangirls call the shots 'round here c"*
You (c) Daryl
Daily DeviationGiven 2013-12-28
Basically, I was still a young writer and I made a mistake by shifting perspective in an attempt to find a good ending c8
BTW I love your icon. It's very pretty!
Aww thank you As is yours! What is it a picture of? Sorry if it should be obvious it's 2am here and I should be asleep!
I'm not going to change it though, because I know if I open it up in sta.sh I'm going to end up rewriting the entire thing xD
It's a girl on the left holding an umbrella while walking down a street. No problem at all! It's midnight on this end xD Sleep is for those without wifi XDD
This is one of the best ff involving TWD characters, i love it! I'm on my way to reading the next parts.
Have a nice day and Happy Holidays!
Normally, I don't care for fanfics, or for second person narratives. It seems there is an exception to every rule.
This is very well written, and kept pretty well in line with what I know of the Walking Dead. (I've watched the first season and some of the second.) The characters were recognizable very quickly, and I like the fact that, even though Daryl is clearly going to be the focus character, you didn't have him be the first the *you* character runs into, and even when he did show up, there isn't any love at first sight BS.
I agree with Ms. Maya that there is plenty of room for improvement in the grammar department, however it is a lot more polished than most stories of this genre I have seen. That, in itself, makes this piece stand out to me.
There isn't a lot I didn't like in this, but the area that stood out the most was the chase at the beginning. It's difficult to write scenes like that and really capture the moment and feel. The short paragraphs of one or two word sentences do just that. It set the scenery, established the narrow-minded need to escape, and the use of "Fence. Fence. FENCE." was just about brilliant, in my estimation.
Still, there are a lot of grammatical errors. Here's some examples:
too loud for you to hear
Your legs were already
You should also avoid structures like "It was like it was saying", because these sound a bit awkward and overloaded. Nevertheless, for what I presume is a first draft, this is an excellently written piece. Keep up the good work.
In season 1 i hated him. Around the other half of season 2, hearts started appearing on my head
in season 3,...god he got handsome
I plan on adding a new chapter every week, with no specific day to upload it as of yet. I'm still working out the plot kinks and whatnot, and the next chapter at the least will be setting up the foundation for the rest of the fanfic *AKA It might take me just a bit longer than it will take me to write the others ^^"* After this next chapter though, it should become more routine.
I finally found one where he's in character. <3 YOU'RE SO AWESOME.
I'LL DEFINITELY BE READING THIS WHOLE SERIES.
(( Also, about the Lemon, I hope that it's in character, too. Lol, sorry- I've just heard from Norman Reedus that he's not the 'LET'S GET NAKED NOW', y'know, 'type'.
I'm not a pervert- KINDA. But could you tell me how it works up to that? XD ))
(( Lol, I know exactly what you mean. He said that in his interview about Daryl *Reedus nerd alert* I plan on letting it build up through the next couple of chapters. I can't give away too much *plot spoilers* but you can rest assured it won't be like 'OH HEY. UR A PRETTY GURL. IMMA GUY. LETS DO DIS.' xD The first show of love won't be sex (because being 'so completely dazzled by her beauty' is a seriously lame excuse for taking him OOC *has lost so much faith in the fandom just from that*) and I'll keep him as in character as I possibly can. You can be my OOC alert, and slap me if I do it wrong xD ))
(( Wait... YOU'RE A REDDUS-NERD, TOO? BBF FOREVER. Lol. I'm really glad you acknowledge that. ^-^ WAYY too many stories make the characters complete OOC, which is one of the reasons why I'm really excited for YOUR story. (... I'm trying to imagine Daryl saying that, he ends up sounding like a robot. Daryl: " Hello there, Pretty. Please, join me in some sexual activity. :I" ... He also has a British accent. XD VERY OOC, INDEED.)
COOL- I HAVE PERMISSION. 8D Trust me; I will definitely slap you if something goes wrong. lol ))
(( DAH ZA POWER OF BFFANGIRLS!!! Daaaaaah THERE U GO MAKIN ME FEEL AWESHOME AGAIN U MUST BE GLOMPED FOR THIS (OMG...That picture...XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD You literally just made my day so much better, my friend CX A day without falling out of your chair laughing is hardly a day at all XDDDD The sad part is that that isn't too far of a throw from a lot of the fanfic that I've read xDD)
YOU GOT ZA POWAH!
Dun slap meh too hard. Eet shall ruin mah mask of sanity... 8|
(( HUGGGSSSS-! D: GAH. IDON'TLIKEHUGS.
... But I guess I could make an exception... **
( HOLY CRAP, THAT BAD? It's like, the ANTI-Daryl.
Daryl: "Oh my. How one could eat such an adorable creature as the squirrel, I'll never know. It's appalling. " ROFLMAO.
Daryl: "... Who the hell're you? ''
I'LL SLAP YOU AS HARD AS I WANT TO SLAP YOU. ))
(( 8D I AM THE EXCEPTION! IN ZAT CASE...
(LOL No, not like. It IS the Anti-Daryl.
Anti-Daryl 5000: "You should not use such vulgar words like 'hell'. It is such improper vocabulary. *sips tea*
I FEEL STRANGELY INTIMEDATED BY YOUR UNDERLINED BOLD ITALIC CAPS LOCK.
(( WE'VE INVENTED A NEW CHARACTER.
Daryl: " Then why don't ya say we skip the words and get right to the part where I put a hole in that pretty lil' face o' yours?" *Grabs Crossbow.*
Lol. I'm not sure if this is in character because I'm REALLY tired and wanted to respond to your note. XD.
I think if it was the real Daryl he'd be like; 'WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ROBOT DOING HERE? AND THE TEA? AND THE ACCENT? AND HIS GORGEOUS FACE (ITSEEMSSTRANGLYFAMILIAR) SO MANY QUESTIONS.' LOL. And THEN he'd shoot him in the face. XD
YOU SHOULD BE; ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S TALK OF SLAPPING YOU.
HEY, WHENS THE NEXT CHAPTER? I MIGHT GET TO SLAP YOU, THEN. ))
((WE HAVE. WE ARE OFFICIALLY BAWSES. YO. xDD
Anti-Daryl 5000: *sips tea with pinky up, and then sighs* Must we really resort to violence? It is just so far below me. Fighting is such savagery. And thank you. I know my face is pretty. I work on it for hours every morning ;D //so presh
LOLOL I can honestly see him saying both xDDDDDD And yus. The resemblance. Tis so uncanny~
BUT I AM NOT SCARED OF THE SLAPPINGS. I AM SCARED OF THE YOU DOING THE SLAPPINGS BECAUSE ONLY THE SLAPPINGS BY YOU ARE SCARY AS OPPOSED TO OTHER SLAPPINGS BY OTHER NON-OFFICIALLY SLAPPING PEOPLE.
IT SHOULD COME OUT SOMETIME THIS WEEK. I AM PLANNING IT WELL. SO YOU CANNOT SLAP ME. FOR YOUR SLAPPINGS ARE SOMETHING TO BE FEARED BY ALL